Today has been the day from Hell – well, technically the past 48 hours, really.
See, I have Endometriosis (yes, in addition to the autoimmune crap and everything else); and every once in awhile, it will hit me really hard, and absolutely nothing, short of an actual opioid, will make the pain bearable – probably due to the fact that I am going through a super-sized tampon every hour/hour and a half for going on two days straight, now. Any members of the Male Tribe reading this, my apologies – but seriously? Suck it up. You must know women. Some women, somewhere. This is what some of us go through. It’s not like this is a COMPLETE shock to you, unless you’ve been living under a rock, right?
Only, I don’t have any opioids. I have Advil and red wine. And i’m not much for day drinking, because of the inevitable hangover from the fiery depths of Dante’s deepest Inferno that is sure to follow – so I just sort of white knuckle it for hours…and hours. Meanwhile, hemorrhaging blood in gouts like some kind of Tarantino flick. Or maybe Carrie would be a more appropriate image.
So, as you can imagine, my energy is sort of at an all time low; I have literally not left my bed except to take my meds, get food and staunch the never-ending flow of blood. And, to put stuff on my face, because I swear, it was actually cracking off from dehydration, which is terribly uncomfortable. Yes, Kumquats, even when i’m in so much pain I can quite seriously barely walk, I will take a moment for skincare – you would too, if your face felt like that thing from Species.
And of course, I ended up breaking out in hives around my eyes, as well. So I have been slathering on the ginseng serum like crazy – which has calmed it down quite a bit. In fact, i’ve got my I’m From Ginseng Serum right by my bed, so I can periodically slather it on my face.
It is really soothing, and my skin has been thanking me for it. Something about losing ridiculous amounts of blood for two days straight tends to leave one’s skin feeling really uncomfortable – and this stuff has been a lifesaver.
The other product i’ve been slathering is my Laniege Power Essential Toner, because it’s SO super soft and hydrating. My skin is just sucking it up. I put it on before my Missha Time Revolution Essence, and it just kills the dryness my skin has been experiencing. As you can see, I only have a tiny bottle, and need to get more, like asap. This stuff almost feels like a moisturizer, seriously. I don’t know why i’ve let it get so low, except that i’ve been wanting to try a couple other things in the hydrating toner department.
Because my skin is so sensitized right now, moisturizer is feeling kind of weird, so i’m using my Boscia Tsubaki Beauty Oil liberally throughout the day – as my apartment is super dry right now due to radiator heat. It feels really soothing, and my skin loves it.
Finally, before i go to bed tonight, i’ll be squeezing what’s left out of this little sample tube of Chanel’s Sublimage Mask – this stuff is so luxe and lovely – it smells like vanilla, in fact uses Vanilla Planiflora as its active ingredient to do SOMETHING awesome to my face – all i know is that at somewhere around the $400 mark, i could never afford it – but they keep giving me samples of the stuff, and my skin loves it, and it feels wonderful on my sick, parched, dehydrated mug. *Update – just tried using it and my skin is too jacked up and sensitive tonight even for this mask. Starting stinging immediately and I had to wash it off. Le sigh.
Once i’ve taken care of my skin, all I can really do is loll around in bed, surf the web, annoy my cats with alternative 80’s music, drink copious amounts of water, cry into my teddy bear once even my kittens have abandoned me because I am so pathetic, and sleep.
As unhealthy as it is for me, I couldn’t eat anything all day – so I just now finally made myself cook some chili mac (gluten free noodles, of course), because it’s comfort food to me, has RED MEAT, is healthy, and easy.
I make a vat, so I don’t have to bother cooking for the next couple days and I can focus on recouping. I try to make sure i’ve always got enough chow onhand so that cooking for a few days out is always an option, in case i get slammed with some fucked up health issue like this.
Yes, my Kumquats, when the CW hits, this little monkey needs a shit ton of RED MEAT. I am losing more blood than a Kurasawa film, and I need my iron. My freezer usually looks like the meat locker at a butcher’s, stocking up for the Rapture. I find that when I don’t do this, and I slack off in the red meat department, particularly around the time of my period – my body takes its revenge in no uncertain terms. I become dizzy and weak(er), and nothing I eat seems to satisfy. Also, i’ve been anemic enough times to know better. My body needs the stuff. Of course, I also toss in some green peppers – i’m not a total cave-woman.
Ah, look. It’s five o’clock. A decent enough hour. Time for some red wine. I stock up on the stuff for the Crimson Wave, because let’s face it, it HELPS. As long as I take it easy and sip it slowly, it can really take the edge off the pain – which at this point has got me curled in a little ball on the bed. The chili will help buffer my stomach, so everything is cool. And the pain relief is quite welcome at this point. To be honest, I may have started swilling the vino earlier if blessed sleep hadn’t whisked me away from the pain for most of the day. Sometimes, you just gotta take a break from physical pain when it gets to be too much. It’s a huge stressor on the body. And my cramps are INTENSE. Like, Peter Lorre staring at you with those weird thyroid eyeballs of his intense.
Well, my little Kumquats, i’d love to keep writing, but I need to recline back further into my pile of cushions and read about makeup and the newest thing in K-Beauty whilst my kitties snuggle up next to me. Calvin is gazing at me longingly, looking all fluffy and adorable.
Hopefully, the rivers of blood will have eased up by tomorrow, and I can write something more coherent. Seriously, I have no idea if this post is even readable.
But I hope you all enjoyed, anyway! Until tomorrow (unless, of course, I bleed out).
XO – Monday